My Transtastic Journal
A Periodic Update Of My Journey To Myself…
So I thought I would start sharing on my journey to me, a road I have found to travel, to know in and to grow in. Although the catalyst for this was my “coming in” as trans to myself, there will be other bits and bobs that come from other parts of me that we are putting together…
My Team
I needed one because I was afraid to do this journey on my own. Although I am discovering, that I am the only one who can. But others are walking along side of me to encourage me…
Therapists
I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which has been discussed at length by various authors (including me!) but to review, this is simply (Ha!) the understanding that my body does not reflect who I am on the inside. I am a girl (beautiful by the accounts of my IC) but on the outside I was AMAB (assigned male at birth), so my body has a “Y” chromosome, very unsightly. And I have strong feelings about how my body doesn’t match who I am on the inside.
So I have a gender therapist, someone who specializes in transgender issues, who helps me with various questions, concerns, feelings, etc surrounding my transition (which I have decided to embark this year). She approved my start of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) where I take testosterone blockers and estrogen to put my hormone levels where they should be for a female body. She is my T-T
Therapist #2
This is my “integration therapist”. She helps me with some of the GD but more so with how to deal with all the changes in my life due to how I suppressed my trans identity and other things that grew out of my secret keeping. Also she is helping me learn to self-care and how to love myself. She is my Me-T.
My IC
This would be Jinny, my IC (inner child). I have an interesting relationship with her, since she like to talk to me (when I will listen) and share things from our history that hurt us when we were growing up. We have taken turns keeping each other safe with various methods (suppression, secret keeping, denial, fear, anger, etc) so a lot of our time together is spent finding things, watching them and then picking them apart. Lots of hugs and “I Love Yous” ensue usually. She usually appears to me as a child, but sometimes she is older…
My Doctors
So far this is my Internist, who is supervising my HRT. I will expand this group over time as I’m learning about and putting other medical interventions on my roadmap…
My Spiritual Family
Various entities, goddesses and the Almighty who I have worked with over the years. They are generally positive about the work of actualizing and are not put off by the mis-match between me and my body. They support me by reminding me that this work is important to me, but that they love me no matter what, and that I am beautiful regardless of how I feel from one day to the next…
Friends
I am very thankful for my Medium family!!! For those who have encouraged me on my journey with their stories, interacting with my overly-verbose commentaries on their stories, and just being there and not judging me. Thank you all so much!!!
